So as planned, I told Lady in Red last night that I won’t need more of her Baby Ruth bars.

She didn’t like it.

She said I should have told her earlier so she didn’t have to buy truckloads of them. Well, she didn’t growl or transform into a green She-Hulk, but I could tell from her expression that she wanted her living space clear of anything resembling my face.

I did say sorry, told her what I felt in the smoothest of ways (perhaps even smoother than The Most Interesting Don Equis Man in the World), and she seemed okay at first. But when I told her that I haven’t been eating the candy bars she had given me for quite a while now, and that I have kept them all in the fridge with no clue where to take them, that was when she murmured something in the vicinity of the word asshole.  I paid no mind. I knew what was coming. Well, not really.

You see, now, she wants all her candies back. Yes, all $80 plus dollars worth of Baby Ruth bars.

It would be awesome if I still have these goodies, but no, I threw them all out last Sunday! So, I have a very strong feeling that I’m screwed!

Of course, unless I shell out 80 bucks to buy something I don’t believe in, I’ll be fine. But I am not even considering it. $80 can buy me a whole month’s supply of great natural and local foods! No! I am not doing that! It would be like me donating money to help fund the search for the skeletal remains of Snuffaluffagus. No way!

I think I’ll just ignore her altogether. I mean, what could possibly happen? Will she bind me and force-feed me with M&Ms until I render a fatty and chocolaty liver?