First, I would like to thank all those who posted suggestions here on Tumblr, on Facebook, on Twitter and through my email on how I could possibly put an end to my Lady in Red situation.
I have received many of them. Some might actually work and some are just plain silly. Here are some:
“Tell Lady in Red that you have lost all your teeth in eating all those candies so you can’t chew anymore.”
– From Rich
“Give all those Ruthies to Pat Robertson.”
– From Cooper
“Give Lady in Red a hug. Tell her you don’t eat that junk anymore. Then give her a kiss.”
“Say no. Tell her you are full.”
“Melt all the chocolate bars so you can make a giant ball of chocolate and give it to her next Christmas. Recycle.”
– Susan Joyce
“Hand it over to me, I’ll sell them all.”
“I do think you can tell ‘lady in red’ in a very nice way that you’ve changed your dietary habits and though you absolutely love the gesture, and it makes her the sweetest, kindest, most generous person you know ;-), you won’t be able to eat them in the future. It’ll definitely take some finesse though.
As for the ones you have now…are you opposed to donating them? i know you probably don’t want to disseminate this stuff, but it’s probably still preferable to throwing it out? Maybe?”
“Invite you friends and have a food fight. Hurl those candies at each other. At least you won’t feel guilty because you are having “fun” with it.”
– Ray Blue
“Say 3 nice sentences before you ultimately say no. And then suggest an alternative thing you could do to show appreciation.”
“ Oh man, grow up. Accept and eat ‘em all.”
“ Physics. Find a wormhole and bury the chocolates there. It will find its way back to Lady in Red so she can give them all to you again. That’s time-space continuum.”
Great options, aren’t they?
Well, I am looking at possibly telling her flat out to stop (thanks Meret, Jan), introduce her to better alternatives like real food (thanks Hayley), then give her a hug (thanks Jeepneytales).
About my oversupply of Baby Ruth, I think I will just throw them all away. I cannot possibly carry the weight of giving out something that I have full knowledge of being harmful to one’s health.
Besides, if I do throw them into the garbage, I would not be guilty of throwing away food, because, hey, it isn’t really food, is it?
PS: My post about Organic TV Dinners has taken a back seat, but it will be posted soon. Also, this week, I will finally order on Uddermilk.com, and of course, I will report on the quality of their food.