How could something so rotten be so good? Smells like ass but tastes like butter.

Well, needless to say, I am a cheese monster. I have written it here and have said it aloud a million times. I love cheese.

But good cheese is expensive. Unbelievably good cheese is unreachable. This realization led me to tap on my desire to once again take matters into my own hands: I will make cheese.

As you already know, I make my own bread now. So armed with this new activity in my life, I am inclined to make my own cheese. I couldn’t be that hard, I suppose. There should be some online guide or how-to-rot-milk-and-come-up-with-cheese instructions that I could follow.

And there it is, The Cheese Queen herself, Ricki Carrol!

She is selling kits complete with the cool bacteria and other tools needed to make my very own cheese right from my kitchen. Isn’t that amazing? Homemade mozzarella, ricotta, cheddar, and Parmesan–all the great tasting dairy stink bombs can be done at last.

I am interested in trying the mozzarella kit and the basic hard cheese kit first. If I produce edible cheese from these, then I won’t look back. Call me the bread man or the cheesy guy I don’t care. Even if I show up at work smelling like sautéed underwear, I won’t mind as long as I can make cheese.

Now, from what appears, cheese is more of a science project. The use of thermometers, living microbes, stainless steel cauldrons, and ancient looking presses seem more like a lab project than a kitchen chore. But it surely looks exciting.

I think if I can successfully pull off this cheese project, I will start to affect my speech with some accents: French on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, when I make brie and gruyere. Italian on Tuesday and Thursday, when I make mozzarella, ricotta, Parmesan, and pecorino. And perhaps, English on the weekend when I make cheddar. Sounds cool but stupid all together.

Like the bread-making and French cooking projects, I will also post my cheese making progress here.

I wonder if McDonalds misses me.